Finding Purpose BeyondAchievement and Accumulation

Feb 3, 2023

9 min read

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Most people spend their lives chasing a series of external goals—education, career, marriage, children, retirement—without questioning why. This habitual forward momentum creates a treadmill of temporary happiness followed by emptiness. In this lesson on Sikh spirituality and self-discovery, the teacher maps his own life trajectory through this pattern and then pivots to the deeper question: What if purpose is not something you chase, but something you recognize within the "I am" consciousness that animates you? He introduces the distinction between your constructed identity (occupation, thoughts, family roles) and the aliveness—the witnessing awareness—that observes all of it. Understanding this difference is the gateway to moving beyond surface-level spirituality and touching genuine fulfillment.

Why You're Looking at Life Wrong

The teacher begins by diagnosing a widespread pattern: most of us inherit a mental script for living without ever choosing it. From childhood, we're programmed to chase the next milestone. In school, each exam leads to the next. Passing GCSEs leads to A Levels, which lead to university, which lead to a job. At each stage, someone told us why it mattered—good grades, secure income, status—but no one asked whether the destination we were heading toward was actually what we wanted.

He recounts his own journey with unflinching honesty. His parents wanted him to be a dentist. For years, that was his identity-to-be. When he failed his A Levels, that script collapsed. But immediately a new one activated: "Get into computer science, get a good job, guarantee a good income." Within a month of graduation, he had a job. Within six months, married. Soon after, a house, then children. Nobody had to tell him to do these things—the logic had been installed so deep that each milestone seemed like a inevitable next step.

What's crucial here is his insight about the mechanism: we're not making conscious choices; we're executing a program. The program says, "Happiness is in the next thing." So we chase it. We get a job because we think it will bring happiness. We get married because we think it will bring happiness. We buy a house. We have children. And at each stage, the happiness comes—briefly—then fades. The novelty wears off. The accomplishment becomes normal. And we're back to feeling empty, looking for the next goal to fill the void.

The Happiness Treadmill: Why Each Goal Disappoints

The teacher describes the psychological trap with clarity. He had everything externally: excellent income, a comfortable home, a spouse, children, nice cars, holidays. By conventional measures, his life was a success. But none of it delivered lasting happiness. The pattern was always the same: anticipation, achievement, temporary satisfaction, fading, void, search for next goal. Rinse and repeat.

This is not pessimism or depression. He clarifies that he wasn't miserable. But there was a pervasive unfulfilling quality—a sense that something fundamental was missing, that all this accumulation was addressing the wrong problem.

The breakthrough came when he realized he couldn't just buy another piece of happiness. He couldn't accumulate his way out of the emptiness. He had to look somewhere else entirely.

Why the World Is Now Ready to Talk About Spirituality

The teacher observes a massive cultural shift. Try having a conversation about God at work today, he suggests, and people get uncomfortable. It feels preachy, ideological, exclusionary. But mention meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and suddenly everyone is receptive. "Oh, yeah, I do that. I've heard about that."

This shift is not random. It reflects the fact that millions of people have reached the same wall he did. They've achieved the externals. They've climbed the ladder. And they've discovered that the ladder was leaning against the wrong building. Now they're asking deeper questions, but they want answers without ideology, without judgment, without anyone forcing a philosophy into their life.

This is the cultural context in which spirituality—and specifically the teachings of Guru Nanak—becomes relevant. It's not about joining a religion. It's about asking: What is life really about? Why am I here? What brings real peace?

Who Are You Really? Unpacking Your Constructed Identity

Here the teacher pivots to the core teaching of the lesson. He begins to dismantle what you think is "you." Most people, when asked who they are, list their identity markers: occupation, gender, family role, nationality, beliefs, preferences. "I'm a doctor. I'm a father. I'm British. I support Manchester United."

He asks: Did you choose your parents? Did you choose your community? Did you choose the football team you support? No. Your parents put that idea in you. Your community shaped your values. Your culture installed preferences. Even many of your thoughts are not originally yours—they're inherited or absorbed from your environment.

So if your occupation, community, nationality, family role, and many of your thoughts were given to you rather than chosen, what is actually you? This is not a rhetorical question in Sikh philosophy. It's the central inquiry.

What Is the "I Am" That Remains?

The teacher directs attention inward, to something more subtle. Strip away occupation, strip away thoughts, strip away all the identity markers—what remains? There's still an aliveness. There's still an awareness that's present. In the middle of the night when you're alone and silent, when no one is looking at you and you can't perform or prove anything, something is still present. Something is still aware.

This awareness doesn't hate anyone. Hatred is a thought. This awareness simply observes thoughts. It witnesses the body, the emotions, the mental stream. It is, in the teaching, called the "I am"—the fundamental sense of presence or aliveness that exists prior to and independent of any specific identity.

The teacher quotes Guru Nanak Dev Ji, pointing to a core principle in Sikh spirituality: there is one consciousness that pervades and animates all beings. This consciousness—this "I am" quality—is not separate from you. It's what you actually are, beneath all the accumulated identity layers.

Delusions About What You Are

The teacher identifies what he calls "delusions" about identity. A delusion is a false belief so deeply held that it feels like truth. Most people are deluded about who and what they are. They believe they are their occupation. They believe they are their thoughts. They believe they are their body. They believe they are the roles their family assigned to them.

But these are all objects within consciousness, not consciousness itself. You are the awareness that observes your occupation changing when you change jobs. You are the witness to your thoughts arising and passing. You are the awareness in the body, not the body itself.

Breaking these delusions requires more than intellectual understanding. The teacher emphasizes combining meditation with philosophical teaching. Meditation allows you to directly experience the gap between thought and awareness. When you sit in silence, you begin to notice: thoughts come and go, but something is watching them. That something is not the thought. That something is the "I am" he's pointing to.

The Spiritual Being Having a Physical Experience

This leads to a reframing found in many spiritual traditions but powerfully articulated here: you are not primarily a physical being having occasional spiritual experiences. You are a spiritual being having a physical experience. Your deepest nature is consciousness, awareness, aliveness. Your body, thoughts, and identity are the temporary expressions or instruments of that consciousness, but they are not what you are.

This distinction is not merely philosophical—it reshapes your relationship to everything. If you are the witness rather than the witnessed, then your identity is not fixed. Your thoughts are not the truth. Your emotions are not your destiny. This opens a space of freedom.

How Does One Become One with God?

The teacher addresses the question many people ask about spiritual practice: How do I become one with God? His answer challenges the question itself. The word "become" implies you're not already that. But in Sikh philosophy, informed by non-duality, separation is itself the delusion. You are already one with the consciousness, the Oneness. The work is not to become something you're not; it's to recognize what you already are.

The practices—meditation, remembrance (Naam), ethical living, service—are not tools to create union. They're tools to dissolve the false sense of separation that your conditioned identity maintains. They help you peel away the layers of delusion so that what was always present becomes apparent.

This is why the teacher says the world is changing. We can no longer hide from these questions in the busyness of accumulation. Enough people have reached the end of that road and found it empty. The hunger for real answers is now culturally mainstream, expressed in the language of mindfulness, meditation, and well-being rather than traditional religious language.

Where to Go From Here

If this teaching resonates, the work is threefold. First, begin to observe your own identity construction. Notice what aspects of "you" were given to you versus chosen by you. Notice how much of your sense of self is actually inherited programming. Second, establish a meditation practice that allows you to experience directly the gap between thought and awareness, between the witnessed and the witness. This experiential knowledge is what transforms understanding from intellectual to embodied. Third, begin questioning the forward-momentum treadmill in your own life. Where are you still chasing the next goal believing it will bring the happiness the previous goal didn't deliver? Can you interrupt that pattern?

The deeper path outlined in this lesson is not about rejecting the external world or denying the body. It's about correcting a fundamental misidentification. You are not your résumé. You are not your thoughts. You are not your circumstances. You are the awareness that inhabits all of it. Recognizing this—truly recognizing it, not just believing it—is the shift that ends the chase and begins genuine spiritual life.

Transcript

[0:00] the aliveness inside you does it hate

[0:03] anyone

[0:04] or is hatred a thought that your

[0:06] aliveness can see

[0:13] what is spirituality

[0:16] have a think

[0:18] everyone talks about it

[0:27] any ideas what is spirituality

[0:31] first thing that pops into your head

[0:35] self-awareness self-awareness good

[0:40] connection

[0:42] what was the word that we heard

[0:44] calmness

[0:47] feelings

[0:50] cultivation of the heart like that

[0:54] truth

[0:56] meditation okay so these are the kinds

[1:00] of things that we hear about yeah I call

[1:01] these buzzwords yep

[1:03] mindfulness

[1:05] meditation

[1:07] spiritual path going on a journey

[1:12] you guys hear about these things chakras

[1:14] third eye yoga all these sorts of things

[1:18] yeah

[1:19] energy we talked about energy didn't we

[1:21] okay what do all of these things mean

[1:26] I tell you what all of these things mean

[1:28] the reason that everyone's talking about

[1:29] it it means that people are starting to

[1:32] ask a lot more questions these days

[1:33] people are looking people are searching

[1:36] people want to know what the answers are

[1:40] and the reason people are looking is

[1:42] because people are not happy with the

[1:44] way life is at the moment

[1:46] everyone knows intrinsically there's got

[1:48] to be something more there's got to be

[1:51] more to life

[1:53] so I want to share with you my own

[1:55] Journey

[1:59] when I was

[2:01] a little boy

[2:03] my parents always wanted to meet me to

[2:06] be a dentist

[2:07] I grew up my whole life everyone said to

[2:09] me what are you going to be I'm going to

[2:11] be a dentist

[2:12] I don't know why but I'm going to be a

[2:14] dentist apparently that's a good thing

[2:15] to be

[2:17] I'm not a dentist

[2:19] but

[2:21] I went

[2:22] throughout my education with that in

[2:24] mind it all came crashing down when I

[2:26] failed all of my a levels I'm like

[2:28] you're not going to be a dentist with

[2:30] these a-levels right

[2:32] then went into University this is around

[2:34] the time sort of 99 uh 2000 the big

[2:38] things was I.T computers the kind of

[2:41] things that people were saying to me was

[2:42] you get a degree in computer science

[2:45] guaranteed job for Life guaranteed

[2:48] so I did that over there sounds good and

[2:51] I quite like the whole computers thing I

[2:52] love being in front of a screen I like

[2:54] the technology it was good so I went to

[2:56] school

[2:58] got my degree

[3:00] and something strange happened after my

[3:02] degree

[3:03] within a month of graduating I got a job

[3:09] that doesn't sound so strange but I tell

[3:11] you why it's strange

[3:12] I tell you why it's strange I got a job

[3:15] even though not a single person told me

[3:18] go get a job not my mom not my dad

[3:22] not my sister nobody actually said to me

[3:26] you graduated now go look for a job

[3:27] nobody said it but straight away I knew

[3:31] I've graduated I got to get a job why

[3:33] was that

[3:35] because I went my whole life

[3:39] planning for the next thing

[3:41] think about what you do in school when

[3:43] you're in school you know that the next

[3:45] exam is the most important thing the end

[3:48] of year exams and then you get your

[3:50] gcses you're working towards something

[3:52] and the reason you do your gcses and to

[3:55] get good grades is so that you can set

[3:57] the a levels that you want to sit I

[3:59] don't know if they do they still do A

[4:00] Levels it is it keeps changing I don't

[4:03] know anymore right

[4:04] and then you do the A Levels but there's

[4:07] only one reason why I did the a levels

[4:10] to get into the University

[4:12] and there's only one reason why I did

[4:14] the whole university thing because

[4:15] somebody said to me job for life

[4:17] guaranteed good income so straight away

[4:20] I went into the job

[4:22] within a month of graduating I was

[4:24] sitting in behind an I.T desk I was had

[4:27] a job

[4:28] within six months

[4:31] of graduating and getting that I.T job I

[4:34] was married

[4:36] within a week of getting married we

[4:39] moved into our first house

[4:42] nobody had told me to do any of these

[4:45] things

[4:46] every single step had already been

[4:49] somehow mapped into my brain I don't

[4:52] know why but I had a job and I was like

[4:53] really time to get married got married

[4:54] by the way I married a dentist

[4:58] so it's kind of like

[5:00] I got what I what I want to do in the

[5:03] end completely true story

[5:05] and

[5:08] then

[5:10] I got

[5:12] a couple of years into our marriage what

[5:14] comes next

[5:15] children

[5:16] and that's where it hit me

[5:19] at that point something hit me because

[5:22] you know what

[5:24] I didn't know what the next step was for

[5:26] the first time in my life I didn't know

[5:28] what the next thing was I was like you

[5:31] got a job

[5:32] I got a house

[5:34] got a wife got two kids and then I was

[5:37] like

[5:38] oh what's

[5:41] what's the next one you know what the

[5:43] next one I could think of retirement

[5:46] that was the only thing I could think of

[5:50] right so I was like oh I'm just supposed

[5:52] to do this now for the next I lived the

[5:55] first 30 years of my life chasing

[5:57] something trying to get somewhere trying

[5:59] to move towards one goal or the other or

[6:02] the other and when I'd got all of the

[6:03] goals

[6:05] I was stuck

[6:08] and the only thing I could do

[6:11] is then figure out oh

[6:14] none of those things bought me the

[6:16] happiness that I thought they would

[6:17] bring me

[6:18] because why do you have why do you have

[6:20] an education to get a good job because

[6:23] you get a good job you're going to get

[6:24] good money I had the good money

[6:27] I bought a house

[6:29] and we had a very comfortable life

[6:32] driving nice cars and we had everything

[6:36] I've going on lots of holidays

[6:38] had the kids like Why Did I Get Married

[6:41] think about it for a moment I had a

[6:42] great job there was something inside me

[6:44] said yeah but I want to share my life

[6:47] with someone I want to do something with

[6:48] it

[6:49] yeah I want to be with someone

[6:53] so I'm buying my happiness I'm just

[6:57] accumulating the next happiness the next

[6:59] happiness and what happens is the next

[7:00] happiness comes it gives you happiness

[7:02] and then it fades after a while

[7:06] and so

[7:08] after getting the really good job and

[7:09] getting good money

[7:11] I was like let's get married and got

[7:13] married got a house yeah we'll be happy

[7:15] I don't live with my parents I don't

[7:16] live my own house

[7:18] got into our own house we're like oh

[7:20] this house stuff is quite hard you've

[7:22] got to do everything right

[7:24] and then that didn't give me the

[7:26] happiness

[7:28] and then we were married and sure that

[7:30] was great happiness for a long time but

[7:32] after a while it was like okay this is

[7:34] normal let's have some kids

[7:37] have your first kid and I thought

[7:40] I was much happier without the kids

[7:43] right

[7:46] so every time you get a bit of happiness

[7:48] the next one you think yeah I'm gonna

[7:49] get the next one that's going to give me

[7:51] more happiness

[7:52] then it doesn't

[7:56] and so guess what we said let's have

[7:58] another kid

[8:00] two kids surely is better than one kid

[8:02] right wrong and then you have the second

[8:05] getter you're like what have we done

[8:07] we were so much happier with just one

[8:09] kid

[8:12] so I reached a point in my life where I

[8:14] was like okay this happiness thing

[8:16] hasn't really happened I wasn't

[8:19] miserable I certainly wasn't depressed

[8:20] or anything like that but it was

[8:22] something that was just so unfulfilling

[8:23] about all of that stuff

[8:26] and then I realized okay

[8:29] now I've got to go find some happiness

[8:32] and guess what I can't just go and buy

[8:35] something else I can't accumulate

[8:37] another piece of happiness

[8:39] I've got to go on a different Journey

[8:42] I've got to look somewhere else

[8:49] and this is where I think a lot of the

[8:52] world is this is why I think we're

[8:53] getting a lot of these kind of

[8:54] conversations now

[8:57] we've reached a point in life now where

[9:00] you can actually comfortably go to any

[9:02] colleagues at work and start talking to

[9:04] them about meditation and mindfulness

[9:05] they'll say oh yeah yeah I do that I do

[9:08] that I do that meditation Mindful and

[9:09] stuff yeah yeah almost anyone you can

[9:12] talk to these says oh I've heard about

[9:13] meditation I should already try that

[9:15] yeah the question I always get oh do you

[9:17] do yoga as well always always I'm like

[9:21] no there are many different types but

[9:23] people are so much more accepting of it

[9:25] now the world has changed

[9:28] try and have a conversation with your

[9:29] colleagues at work about God

[9:32] you didn't just start a conversation

[9:33] about God did you come on keep that

[9:35] stuff to yourself yeah I say God is

[9:39] almost the biggest swear word these days

[9:41] you can't actually go up to someone say

[9:43] hi I'd like to talk to you about God

[9:46] what get lost

[9:51] world has changed

[9:52] we say hey would you like to try some

[9:54] meditation mindfulness oh it sounds good

[9:56] the world's changing

[9:59] and everyone is looking for something

[10:01] but they don't want to be preached to

[10:03] they don't want to be judged they don't

[10:05] want to feel like you're drilling some

[10:09] philosophy down there next some ideology

[10:13] so

[10:15] if the whole world is looking for

[10:17] answers if the whole world is now

[10:19] searching the question now is where do

[10:21] you find the answers where do you go

[10:24] everyone's looking where do you go

[10:27] well I think there are a lot of options

[10:28] these days

[10:30] there are a lot of options

[10:33] the number one option tends to be

[10:34] Buddhism

[10:36] everyone says I like that Buddhism I

[10:38] don't like the other religions but I

[10:39] like that Buddhism one they seem to have

[10:41] it right there's always like very happy

[10:43] all the pictures of the Buddhists are

[10:45] there smiling I tell you why they're

[10:47] smiling they're not married

[10:49] I haven't got any kids

[10:52] true I this is on my honest

[10:55] um reaction to sometimes I see on on the

[10:59] news and stuff like that

[11:01] um this Buddhist monk is the happiest

[11:02] man in the world

[11:04] and these scientists have measured these

[11:06] people like I've checked his brain this

[11:08] guy is the happiest guy in the world

[11:10] and I look at it I'm like but he's not

[11:12] married

[11:13] put him in a house in a job

[11:17] with a wife

[11:19] with some kids then tell me how happy

[11:22] you are

[11:24] don't tell me about your happiness when

[11:27] you're sitting in a cave somewhere

[11:29] yeah

[11:30] because that's not my happiness you're

[11:32] not how are you going to share happiness

[11:33] with me and this is not a criticism of

[11:35] any other tradition but let's just look

[11:38] at what what is being offered to us

[11:39] right now

[11:41] so the Buddhism is the number one thing

[11:43] everyone's like I like that Buddhist

[11:44] stuff it doesn't seem to be too

[11:45] intrusive

[11:47] I can do it in my own time I don't like

[11:49] to seek stuff there's the hair there's

[11:51] the whole turban thing too much right I

[11:55] don't want it

[11:56] seems like too imposing in my life give

[12:00] me something simpler that's why I can do

[12:02] meditation I'll just go to a meditation

[12:03] class once a week

[12:05] happy

[12:07] what are your other options yoga of

[12:09] course

[12:10] mindfulness retreats those are plenty

[12:12] yeah there's no criticism here we just

[12:15] let's let's talk about what's what's

[12:16] available to us

[12:18] meditation apps how many of you have

[12:20] tried meditation apps have you

[12:21] downloaded any have you heard of

[12:22] headspace who's heard of headspace who

[12:25] hasn't heard of headspace

[12:26] oh you've got to try headspace it's

[12:29] really interesting so this British guy

[12:33] becomes a Buddhist monk goes and learns

[12:36] all the practices and all that sort of

[12:37] stuff comes back I realizes the whole

[12:40] world needs this meditation stuff he

[12:41] develops an app called headspace he's a

[12:43] billionaire now

[12:46] and he's created this man and it's

[12:48] actually really good you can just listen

[12:50] to meditations and anytime you feel a

[12:52] bit stressed just like breathe in

[12:53] breathe out the graphics are really nice

[12:54] all that sort of stuff you can now

[12:56] download spirituality

[12:58] onto your iPhone

[13:00] it's available to you maybe you don't

[13:02] have to go to any of these spiritual

[13:05] temples and all these kind of things and

[13:07] and initiating a whole religion anymore

[13:09] I just say no there's an app for that

[13:11] now

[13:12] I don't need anything else

[13:14] the lifestyle coaches have you ever

[13:15] heard of some of these guys Deepak

[13:17] Chopra

[13:19] Tony Robbins Eckhart Tolle yeah great

[13:22] guys amazing stuff that they deliver but

[13:24] look at the options we have a lot of

[13:25] options

[13:26] and then you've got the other

[13:28] scientists who are saying well actually

[13:30] it's all about science science will give

[13:31] you all the answers

[13:33] and some people are saying all of this

[13:34] mumbo jumbo is fine but actually in

[13:37] science and now science is going into

[13:38] like quantum physics and all these kind

[13:41] of things saying actually we're

[13:42] discovering and discovering the truth of

[13:43] reality and so what it means is that

[13:46] everyone is actually looking for a truth

[13:48] everyone wants to know what's real just

[13:51] give me what is real

[13:53] so that I can know what my life is

[13:56] supposed to be about

[14:00] so who are you going to go to on your

[14:02] spiritual journey

[14:04] it's a question you have to ask yourself

[14:05] and I think

[14:08] it goes back to the cake analogy

[14:11] you're gonna go to someone who you trust

[14:14] someone who you think has got it figured

[14:16] out

[14:17] you're gonna follow a recipe from

[14:20] someone who's done it before so who do

[14:22] you trust who can you trust

[14:26] who do you see as having the most

[14:28] positive impact on people now we're

[14:31] talking about how do you decide which

[14:33] spiritual path to follow because there's

[14:34] so many

[14:36] one way is maybe you look at who has had

[14:38] the most impact on people

[14:41] who's had the most positive impact on

[14:43] people

[14:44] who's been doing this stuff for

[14:46] thousands of years maybe that's one way

[14:48] of looking at it

[14:50] compared to some of the very new age

[14:52] spirituality that's coming around

[14:55] who treats the symptoms

[14:59] and who goes to the root cause of the

[15:02] issue maybe that's another way of

[15:04] deciding which spiritual party going to

[15:06] go on who actually deals with the real

[15:08] root of the issues and who's just making

[15:10] you feel a little bit nice

[15:15] so this is the beginning of your

[15:17] spiritual journey

[15:19] and

[15:21] if we look at a spiritual journey

[15:24] I think it's about finding meaning

[15:26] amongst the mundane

[15:29] mundane being the everyday life we're

[15:32] all living our everyday lives but all of

[15:34] us are looking for some meaning we're

[15:35] looking for something that actually

[15:37] feels yes this is it this is the stuff

[15:40] that makes sense

[15:43] this is where I find my purpose in life

[15:45] this is where I discover what I'm about

[15:50] what does it mean to be me

[15:54] I explained to my children

[15:56] that what I'm teaching is to make your

[16:00] smile bigger

[16:02] that's all we're trying to do in life

[16:04] just make our smile a little bit bigger

[16:06] and we keep it there

[16:09] so who is going to help you make your

[16:11] smile bigger how are you gonna do it how

[16:14] are you gonna find a way in life that

[16:16] you say yes this is what my life is all

[16:18] about and I think you're going to do it

[16:20] in one way

[16:21] you're going to ask yourself a very

[16:23] important question

[16:25] who is the one going on the journey

[16:28] who am I

[16:31] and this is a very important question

[16:35] every spiritual journey has come down to

[16:38] this question who are you

[16:41] not what you're looking for who are you

[16:45] and this question has been asked by

[16:48] every spiritual Seeker because they

[16:51] identify that there's a void inside them

[16:53] there's something inside them

[16:55] they say this is some there's something

[16:57] uneasy inside there's something empty

[16:58] inside me I feel empty I feel lost

[17:01] nothing seems to give me happiness

[17:03] so you've got to go and look at what

[17:05] that is

[17:06] what am I what is this body why do I

[17:09] think the way I think why do I act the

[17:11] way I act

[17:13] what is me

[17:15] who are you

[17:18] so this is where I want you to start

[17:20] answering questions on page six to eight

[17:24] you've got about 15 minutes

[17:33] do you remember that point where I said

[17:35] that I'm going to be listening to you

[17:36] more than you're going to be listening

[17:37] to me while we've reached that point now

[17:39] so

[17:40] I need a couple of Brave volunteers to

[17:43] answer something

[17:45] about themselves

[17:47] so

[17:49] a lot of you guys I've never met before

[17:53] so I want to ask you a question

[17:57] let's pretend you and me are in a

[18:00] spiritual conference no Let's Pretend

[18:02] We're in a business conference

[18:04] right and I come up to you and I ask you

[18:08] a simple question hi my name is satbal

[18:10] Singh who are you

[18:14] what would you say

[18:16] who are you

[18:18] it's not a trick question by the way

[18:20] it's a genuine question

[18:22] who are you

[18:24] Ronnie nice to meet you Ronnie who are

[18:26] you

[18:28] don't know it's not a trick question

[18:30] seriously

[18:32] tell me something more about yourself

[18:33] Ronnie

[18:34] um I'm 41 years old teacher okay

[18:37] excellent tell me something more who are

[18:40] you I don't actually know

[18:42] and that's why I'm here

[18:44] well like I said this isn't a trick

[18:46] question tell me something more about

[18:48] yourself

[18:49] I like traveling the world okay do you

[18:52] like meeting new people I have two

[18:54] children yeah

[18:55] excellent thank you

[18:58] anyone else it's not difficult Ronnie

[18:59] just did it

[19:00] tell me something about yourself

[19:08] and a business owner excellent thank you

[19:11] so it's not a difficult question

[19:13] anyone else tell me something you've

[19:16] written a lot of stuff down tell me some

[19:17] things about you

[19:20] what else who else would like to

[19:22] talk to me

[19:24] talk to me

[19:26] [Music]

[19:27] have you found that spiritual teachings

[19:30] are great to learn but not always easy

[19:32] to apply to your own life

[19:35] sometimes we all need a bit of support

[19:37] and guidance from people who know what

[19:39] we're going through and can help us find

[19:41] some answers

[19:42] the non-icnam Facebook group helps you

[19:45] do just that it's an online community

[19:47] where you can ask any questions about

[19:50] life and get answers from other members

[19:53] of the group

[19:54] search for nanaknam community support

[19:57] and join our free Facebook group today

[20:09] I'm 47 years old and run a dental

[20:13] practice

[20:14] excellent excellent

[20:17] we shall be in touch

[20:21] I need to find a good dentist

[20:25] why I tell you why what my wife does

[20:28] when I'm in that Dental chair is she is

[20:32] brutal

[20:33] she doesn't she like I always think like

[20:35] do you treat the rest of your braces to

[20:37] patients like this and I feel that

[20:39] there's like a little bit of her going

[20:40] right now I've got you and so she

[20:43] doesn't like warn me about the pain so

[20:45] she'll just be like oh now I'm just

[20:46] gonna clean around the back of the teeth

[20:48] and then it's like I'm sitting there

[20:50] going

[20:51] right and I know she doesn't do that to

[20:54] everyone else

[20:55] so I think I need a new dentist to come

[20:57] to you

[20:58] so

[21:01] this really wasn't a trick question it's

[21:03] not a trick exercise I want you to tell

[21:05] me what it is that you know about

[21:07] yourself

[21:08] and what tends to happen is

[21:13] in order for you to

[21:16] start to go on a spiritual journey

[21:20] a journey of self-discovery

[21:22] the first thing we have to do is say

[21:24] well what do we actually know about

[21:25] ourselves like what do we mean like I

[21:27] need to find myself

[21:29] have you ever heard that like I need to

[21:31] find myself

[21:33] if you ever went to your parents and

[21:36] said Mom Dad I'm gonna go to Cambodia

[21:38] I'm gonna sit in a mountain somewhere

[21:40] I'm going to try and find myself

[21:42] they'll give you a slap

[21:44] they'll say I'll tell you where you are

[21:46] you're right here

[21:48] right our parents come from a different

[21:50] Generations like he like they don't need

[21:52] to find themselves we need to find

[21:54] ourselves right so in order to

[21:57] understand who you are

[21:59] first we need to understand what is it

[22:02] that we know about ourselves what are

[22:04] the realities that we've created about

[22:05] ourselves

[22:06] and more often than not what you tend to

[22:11] know about yourself is actually

[22:13] extremely superficial

[22:17] everyone in this room would like to

[22:20] think actually I know myself like I I

[22:22] know a lot about myself I know who I am

[22:26] but I'm willing to bet that you don't

[22:27] actually know who you are

[22:29] the first session we talked about

[22:32] delusions and what delusions we were

[22:33] going to cover in the first session we

[22:34] talked about delusions of God like what

[22:36] is let's talk about this God thing in

[22:38] this session I want to unpack delusions

[22:40] that you have about yourself

[22:43] and let's see how much you really know

[22:45] about yourself so

[22:48] when we try and answer who we are what

[22:51] we deliver to the rest of the world is a

[22:54] false sense of identities

[22:58] so

[22:59] if I ask you who you are this is the

[23:01] kind of stuff that you're going to tell

[23:02] me

[23:03] the first thing you're going to tell me

[23:05] is your name yeah we heard Rani we had

[23:08] Amrit right we the first thing we do is

[23:11] like this is who I am I'm gonna identify

[23:13] myself it's like my identity number yeah

[23:16] 614-3917

[23:19] that's who I am

[23:22] I need you to first know my

[23:23] identification I'm gonna give you my

[23:25] name

[23:27] sometimes you might give someone your

[23:30] number your your gender most often

[23:32] they're not it's it's obvious you don't

[23:34] need to say it

[23:35] but you might dress a certain way

[23:38] to make sure that you're clearly

[23:39] identified with that gender

[23:41] yeah you don't want to dress

[23:44] in a way that people don't know what

[23:46] gender you are so your gender is a part

[23:48] of who you're right who you identify

[23:49] with

[23:50] then you start telling me about your

[23:52] families I'm a mother I'm a wife I have

[23:55] kids I don't have kids I'm all of these

[23:57] sorts of things

[23:59] you might tell me about your religion

[24:02] so I'm a seek maybe you introduce people

[24:04] as I am a seek sometimes you don't need

[24:07] to it's staring you in the face see yep

[24:10] I know that I got that thank you right

[24:13] then you start telling me about what you

[24:15] do

[24:16] I do this and I do that I'm a dental

[24:18] nurse dental assistant I work in

[24:20] accountancy I'm a teacher I'm a this I'm

[24:22] a that

[24:27] if I dig a Little Deeper

[24:30] I'll start asking you about what you

[24:32] like and what you don't like

[24:34] yeah if I start going a little bit

[24:36] further then you might start saying I'm

[24:39] a man united supporter I'm a liver

[24:44] Liverpool

[24:46] no Chelsea

[24:49] who who do you support man united okay

[24:51] and you Liverpool of course Arch Rivals

[24:55] yeah

[24:57] so once you start giving me your

[25:00] identities then you start saying things

[25:02] like Oh I'm a vegan I'm a this I'm a

[25:04] that I never used to be this but I'm now

[25:06] that I support this and I don't support

[25:08] that like your likes and your dislikes

[25:10] that's the kind of stuff that you start

[25:11] telling me about

[25:12] yeah

[25:13] sometimes people get really clever and

[25:15] they say I'm a human being by the way

[25:17] you know like duh right

[25:21] then people get really spiritual so I

[25:25] don't know who I am I'm finding myself

[25:26] I'm a I'm a soul I'm a free spirit

[25:30] I'm a collection of thoughts have you

[25:32] ever heard this one

[25:33] um

[25:34] I'm not a I never remember it I'm not of

[25:37] spiritual being having a physical

[25:39] experience um what is it how does it go

[25:42] I'm a physical being no it's the other

[25:44] way right

[25:45] I'm not as

[25:47] I'm not a physical being having a

[25:48] spiritual experience I'm a spiritual

[25:50] being having a physical experience

[25:52] yeah that always does my head in right

[25:54] I'm like what I'm completely confused so

[25:56] people start talking about all these

[25:58] things how many of you start saying oh

[25:59] I'm a soul I'm a spirit how many of you

[26:01] have a soul

[26:03] put your hands up how many of you have a

[26:04] soul Keep Your Hands Up keep your hands

[26:07] up yep how many of you have seen your

[26:08] soul

[26:14] but you're all convinced you have one

[26:15] yeah never seen it

[26:18] but I have it yeah keep it in my back

[26:21] pocket

[26:22] right well we all have a soul

[26:24] none of us know what we're talking about

[26:26] we just keep waffling on based on what

[26:28] other people will accept

[26:31] yeah

[26:33] and the kinds of conversations we have

[26:35] is different yeah in a spiritual meeting

[26:37] you can quite comfortably say to me I

[26:38] don't know who I am and I say oh I get

[26:40] it I understand no problem you can't say

[26:42] that in a business meeting someone says

[26:44] hi who are you so I don't know who I am

[26:48] so I think you're in the wrong place

[26:50] mate

[26:51] I mean right so the kind of answers that

[26:54] we give is dependent on who we think

[26:56] will receive the answer properly yeah

[27:02] so

[27:04] what exactly is going on

[27:07] is this Who You Are

[27:10] I'm willing to offer a solution

[27:13] I'm going to propose to you that you are

[27:16] none of these things

[27:21] the reason I'm going to propose to you

[27:22] that you are none of these things

[27:24] is because I'm going to ask you how many

[27:27] of these things did you pick

[27:31] let's go through the list

[27:34] how many of you picked your name

[27:37] some people get a chance to do it in a

[27:39] spiritual tradition if they if they

[27:41] initiate into spiritual tradition then

[27:42] they get given a new name not

[27:44] necessarily pick their own names how

[27:45] many of you picked your name

[27:47] who picked your name for you

[27:49] parents grandparents that sort of stuff

[27:51] okay so is it you

[27:54] it is how you are identified but is it

[27:57] you

[27:58] or is it how other people chose to

[28:00] identify you maybe if you had a choice

[28:02] you'd pick something else

[28:04] maybe that's not the name you want you

[28:05] want in life

[28:07] how many of you picked your agenda how

[28:09] many of you chose I'm gonna be a boy I'm

[28:11] gonna be a girl

[28:13] was chosen for you right

[28:16] so I am a man I am a woman

[28:20] well are you

[28:21] or is it just something that's happened

[28:23] to you

[28:26] how many of you pick your family how

[28:29] many of you picked your parents

[28:32] how many of you would like to pick again

[28:37] how many of you picked your community

[28:40] your ethnicity how many of you picked

[28:43] your religion

[28:46] very few

[28:48] yeah then you walk around saying I am a

[28:51] Sikh are you

[28:52] or was that done to you

[28:57] let's move on how many of you pick what

[28:59] you like and what you dislike

[29:01] let's go back to the football teams

[29:03] right

[29:04] man united why do you support man united

[29:09] huh

[29:10] because they're great

[29:11] okay

[29:13] but you've picked Man United

[29:15] Liverpool how many of you support

[29:18] Liverpool anyone else

[29:21] why do you support Liverpool

[29:24] say again two of you why do you support

[29:27] Liverpool

[29:29] we won it five times

[29:32] what at what point did you pick

[29:33] Liverpool tell me

[29:36] Primary School

[29:38] did anyone influence you

[29:41] was there anyone in your family that was

[29:43] already a Liverpool supporter

[29:45] no you picked it yourself

[29:48] your friends were Liverpool supporters

[29:51] I'll tell you a funny story right

[29:54] my youngest son goes to um

[29:56] Primary School

[29:58] two brothers

[29:59] the oldest brother comes home one day

[30:01] and he says to me dad what football team

[30:04] do we support

[30:06] and I've never been into football much I

[30:08] was like son I don't don't really

[30:09] support a football team

[30:12] so I don't really have an answer to give

[30:14] you

[30:15] my youngest one only about four at the

[30:17] time he says Dad if you were to pick a

[30:20] football team which one would you pick I

[30:23] said I don't know because I don't know

[30:24] anything about football he said how

[30:26] would you pick it

[30:28] he says to me how would you pick if you

[30:31] were to pick one right now well that's

[30:33] an interesting question I said Son what

[30:35] I would do is I would go and look at the

[30:38] league tables for like the last 10 years

[30:40] and the ones who've won the most

[30:43] that's why I'm coming to you guys the

[30:45] ones who've won the most I'd probably

[30:47] just go with them they said Wicked dad

[30:49] let's do that so we went we looked at

[30:52] all the league tables at least for the

[30:53] last 10 years man united came out on top

[30:56] we're like son I like I think I would

[30:58] pick man united done we'll pick Man

[31:00] United

[31:00] this is why I asked the question about

[31:02] Liverpool because

[31:04] I went to all of my friends then right

[31:06] guys my age dad's my age and I had this

[31:08] conversation with them saying yeah I

[31:10] think we've picked a team we're going to

[31:11] go with Man United

[31:12] there seems to be this same thing about

[31:15] Liverpool all the things were like no

[31:19] you can't do that you gotta stick with

[31:21] Liverpool and me and my son were like

[31:23] scratching our heads being like why do

[31:24] they support Liverpool they're rubbish

[31:26] they haven't won anything in a really

[31:28] long time

[31:30] I don't understand and then as I'm

[31:32] asking all of my friends

[31:34] it turns out in the 80s they were quite

[31:37] good

[31:38] when they were all young boys

[31:41] the team was winning quite a lot

[31:43] and all their brothers and uncles and

[31:46] friends and them were saying yup

[31:48] Liverpool's the team to stick with and

[31:50] that stuck with them now so they're

[31:51] passing it on to their kids and we're

[31:54] just like why would I pick a losing team

[31:55] makes no sense so we're all man united

[31:57] supporters right now I don't know what

[31:59] that means

[32:00] all right we we've watched nothing we

[32:02] follow nothing but if somebody asked we

[32:04] say yep we support man united my sons

[32:06] have even got the kit now they know

[32:08] nothing about football

[32:10] and let's keep it that way

[32:12] so this is how this stuff works all

[32:15] right let's go back to the next one

[32:16] occupation

[32:19] how many of you chose your occupation

[32:22] independently how many of you are in

[32:24] medicine put your hands up in some sort

[32:25] of medical field

[32:26] yes

[32:28] how many of you were influenced

[32:32] to make that decision

[32:34] just one two three

[32:36] four five

[32:38] right just like I wanted to be a dentist

[32:41] right like what what what's saying 12

[32:44] year old wants to be a dentist like of

[32:46] all the cool jobs in the world

[32:48] that's not the one you're gonna pick

[32:50] right why did I want to be a dentist

[32:53] because my parents just put that idea in

[32:55] me like son that's the one you're gonna

[32:58] go for yeah and I'm like okay Dad

[33:01] so can you honestly say

[33:04] that the things that you identify with

[33:07] are genuinely yours independently

[33:11] Uniquely Yours

[33:14] even your thoughts aren't yours

[33:20] perfect example

[33:22] Our Generation

[33:24] can't stand how little care our parents

[33:27] give towards recycling

[33:30] true or not our parents couldn't care

[33:32] less about recycling

[33:34] and they just

[33:36] ducking stuff in all other places like

[33:37] what are you talking about just put it

[33:38] in the bin it's rubbish put it in the

[33:39] bin oh well I'd know but Dad the papers

[33:42] go here and the Plastics go here and the

[33:44] food waste go there

[33:46] what's the difference

[33:48] why does as one generation we care a lot

[33:51] about it I tell you why we all care

[33:53] about it because when I went to school

[33:54] there was the whole thing called save

[33:56] the planet

[33:57] do you remember that whole phrase we

[33:59] need to save the planet so in the 80s

[34:01] and the 90s I grew up thinking damn

[34:03] there's something wrong with the planet

[34:04] we need to save the planet and now we

[34:07] grow up and we're a lot more conscious

[34:08] in a way

[34:09] did they grow up with that kind of

[34:11] messaging that kind of information so

[34:14] they're like what are you talking about

[34:15] planet's been here for a long time I'm

[34:17] sure it's all right

[34:19] so even our thoughts are not necessarily

[34:22] our thoughts

[34:24] there's some things that have been

[34:26] programmed into us we've been

[34:28] conditioned by them

[34:30] so now we'll very comfortably have an

[34:33] argument with someone because my thought

[34:35] is clearly the right one

[34:37] and your thought is clearly the wrong

[34:39] one

[34:40] I'm right you're wrong

[34:41] so we start getting into debates and

[34:44] arguments with people about

[34:46] a thought

[34:48] which if you think about it probably

[34:50] isn't yours to begin with so you're

[34:52] fighting to hold on to something

[34:55] that was not genuinely yours you didn't

[34:57] come up with it

[34:59] some of them are yours I'm not saying

[35:00] everything

[35:01] but in reality which of these things can

[35:05] you honestly say are yours

[35:09] so this is how we build an understanding

[35:11] of who we are

[35:13] I like to talk about

[35:16] the human being as a house

[35:20] what do you need to build a house

[35:23] what do you start with

[35:24] a strong Foundation

[35:27] without a strong Foundation the whole

[35:28] house is going to fall down what is your

[35:30] strong Foundation

[35:32] imagine a house is made of lots of

[35:34] different bricks

[35:36] and what you do when you're about to

[35:38] build a house is you put the important

[35:40] bricks first the stuff that cannot move

[35:42] that's the foundation of Who You Are and

[35:45] we do the same thing the very first

[35:47] brick that we place in the house and the

[35:49] Mansion of the self

[35:51] is the name that's who I am the very

[35:54] first thing you get given as a child is

[35:57] a name nobody calls you baby for the

[35:59] rest of your life

[36:00] you get given a name so that we can

[36:02] identify which baby are you talking

[36:04] about

[36:05] and that's the first brick this is who I

[36:09] am and from there we start building more

[36:11] and more and more

[36:12] and the foundation are bricks that are

[36:15] laid that cannot be changed

[36:17] most of us don't change our names

[36:22] most of us

[36:24] don't change our gender most of us

[36:28] these days everything's possible

[36:31] but you get your name the next brick

[36:34] that you put down is I'm a man I'm a

[36:36] woman that's fixed the next brick you

[36:39] put down is I belong to this family I'm

[36:41] never going to be able to change this

[36:43] family I'm not going to change these

[36:44] parents that's just who they are

[36:47] so that's my other thing I belong to

[36:48] this family this is who I am

[36:53] then we start building a little bit more

[36:55] and more

[36:56] we start building our foundation of Who

[36:59] We Are so then we start looking at

[37:01] things like

[37:02] this is my occupation

[37:05] when were you were young you weren't

[37:07] always an accountant a lawyer a dentist

[37:09] you weren't a teacher you weren't all

[37:11] these things what did you used to say

[37:13] then I'm a student

[37:14] that was your occupation that was who

[37:16] you were

[37:18] so you've got your foundation bricks and

[37:20] then you've got bricks that can change

[37:24] so the student brick you carried that

[37:26] for a really long time but after a while

[37:29] you let go of that brick you say oh I'm

[37:32] no longer a student I give up this brick

[37:34] now I'm going to take on a new one now I

[37:36] am my profession this is who I am now

[37:39] I'm a doctor I'm a lawyer I'm a dentist

[37:42] I'm a teacher I'm an accountant

[37:45] and once you start building this house

[37:47] around you

[37:48] then you start

[37:50] putting more temporary things like your

[37:53] thoughts

[37:55] your likes your dislikes

[37:58] you start putting things like

[38:00] the things that other people influenced

[38:03] you for

[38:05] so

[38:06] you are a Chelsea supporter Man United

[38:10] Support Liverpool supporter where did

[38:13] that come from so we start borrowing

[38:15] bricks from other people someone say oh

[38:17] you're you're one of those okay I'll do

[38:19] that as well you're a vegan that sounds

[38:21] good I'll do that as well you're this

[38:22] you're that I'll start doing all those

[38:24] things

[38:26] and very quickly you start building a

[38:29] mansion

[38:30] thoughts ideas opinions opinions is a

[38:34] brick that you can change

[38:37] because sometimes you had an idea

[38:39] but if somebody comes along with a

[38:41] better one you give up the old one you

[38:44] say oh okay I get it I don't hold this

[38:46] idea anymore I hold another one but

[38:48] that's still part of your identity

[38:52] so who you are

[38:54] is just a list of all of these bricks

[38:57] and you hold on to every single one of

[38:59] them and when somebody comes to say who

[39:01] are you you show them all your bricks

[39:03] and say this is who I am

[39:05] this is my identity

[39:07] and when I ask you who you are you start

[39:10] from the foundation oh I'm this guy I'm

[39:12] a man I'm a woman I'm this person I'm

[39:14] that person I give you my name then I

[39:16] give you my occupation then I give you

[39:18] this then I give you my likes and my

[39:20] dislikes then I give you my thoughts and

[39:21] my ideas

[39:23] you start moving up the mansion

[39:26] and what I'm here to say to you is none

[39:29] of those things are yours

[39:32] none of those things on the list are

[39:36] yours none of those things on the list

[39:38] are you

[39:42] so the question is now well who are you

[39:44] what am I

[39:59] [Music]

[40:18] maybe you are something

[40:21] that is Behind the Bricks

[40:23] maybe you are something behind your name

[40:26] behind your body behind your ideas

[40:29] behind your job behind your associations

[40:32] maybe you are something else

[40:36] the question is well what is that

[40:40] you are what you repeat

[40:45] I started this morning by asking a

[40:48] question

[40:49] what life stories

[40:53] do you have

[40:55] what life mantras are you repeating to

[40:57] yourself

[40:58] I was very fortunate last year to do an

[41:01] interview with a fascinating lady called

[41:04] goodpreet Kaur and she

[41:08] gave me her life story

[41:11] and her Battle of dealing with

[41:14] depression for 15 years and suicide

[41:18] and that video is available on YouTube

[41:19] please go and have a look at that

[41:21] she said something really interesting in

[41:23] that interview she said to me my

[41:26] depression became my story

[41:28] so whenever anyone asked me who I was I

[41:31] would say hi yep I'm depressed

[41:35] that's who I am I'm depressed I'm a

[41:36] depressed person that became her story

[41:39] if that becomes your story how on Earth

[41:42] are you going to get rid of it

[41:44] when that becomes your identity how are

[41:47] you going to shake it off

[41:49] when that's the very thing that you say

[41:51] I am

[41:52] a depressed person I am depressed

[41:56] not depression is happening to me I am

[41:59] depressed

[42:01] you see the difference

[42:03] you are what you repeat

[42:07] so let's look a little bit deeper

[42:10] because if you don't start understanding

[42:13] yourself forget your religion

[42:15] forget your spirituality forget your God

[42:19] forget your scriptures forget your

[42:21] practices at your meditations forget

[42:23] your prayers forget your

[42:26] outfit

[42:27] if you don't ask a fundamental question

[42:31] what is this who am I what is this thing

[42:35] that is alive

[42:38] what is the I am

[42:41] let's think about this

[42:43] if you think this is who I am

[42:49] then what you're saying is I am this

[42:51] body

[42:54] but we don't talk like that do we we say

[42:57] I have a body

[43:01] we don't say I am the body we say I have

[43:04] a body I have a hand I have legs I have

[43:08] eyes we don't say I am the eyes I am the

[43:12] ears I am the face we say I have them

[43:15] my question is

[43:17] if you have them then who has them

[43:20] who is it that has the body

[43:25] it's like when you're driving a car

[43:28] you're inside the car right you don't

[43:31] say I am the car

[43:33] you say

[43:35] I have a car I am inside the car and

[43:39] right now

[43:40] you would say I am inside my body

[43:45] unless some of you are having an outer

[43:47] body experience

[43:49] in which case please come and tell us

[43:52] because there was something in that

[43:53] coffee

[43:55] if you're having

[43:59] an experience of being inside the body

[44:01] then what is that

[44:03] what's inside the body right now if your

[44:06] body wasn't here what would be left

[44:10] remember I'm talking about you

[44:13] I'm not talking about philosophy here

[44:15] I'm not talking about Theory I want you

[44:16] to ask yourself a question what is this

[44:19] who am I what is this thing

[44:22] where does the I am exist

[44:27] let me ask an easier question when

[44:29] you're sad

[44:31] where does the sadness exist

[44:36] is it in your foot

[44:37] you say my foot is sad

[44:41] where does the sadness exist

[44:44] in your heart you say my heart is sad my

[44:47] heart is broken yep

[44:49] in your soul

[44:53] who's experiencing something

[44:56] it's in the mind

[44:59] it's a thought I am sad

[45:03] I am depressed

[45:07] I am unhappy

[45:10] where does that exist it exists as a

[45:13] thought a thought comes up

[45:16] and if I ask you how do you feel you

[45:18] wait for that thought to give you an

[45:20] answer the thought says I feel good say

[45:22] that you say I feel good

[45:26] so where is that thought coming from

[45:31] we have a tendency to think that

[45:35] everything that pops in our minds is

[45:37] true and is correct

[45:40] you agree everything that pops into our

[45:42] head I think yep that sounds good I'll

[45:44] do that

[45:46] it's true you get up in the morning

[45:48] I want to have some toast yep that

[45:50] sounds good I'll do that

[45:52] yeah I want to wear this today I want to

[45:55] wear that thoughts are firing off in

[45:57] your brain and you say Yes Yes master

[46:00] yeah

[46:01] the mind is the master

[46:04] and we say yes okay

[46:07] my question is is everything that your

[46:10] brain comes up with true

[46:12] is everything that your mind tells you

[46:15] accurate

[46:17] simple example

[46:19] how many of you can go downstairs in the

[46:21] middle of the night when it's completely

[46:22] dark

[46:24] no

[46:26] how many of you struggle

[46:28] how many of you struggle to look out of

[46:29] a window when it's Pitch Black

[46:33] yeah

[46:35] but there's nothing there you know

[46:37] there's nothing there right

[46:39] but there's a part of you that says I'm

[46:40] not going to do that I'm not going to go

[46:42] down there so you tremble and you walk

[46:43] down and try and put the light on oh God

[46:45] there's nothing here

[46:47] what was all of that

[46:49] it was a fear

[46:51] so your mind said be careful

[46:54] but was it a reality

[46:57] so not everything that pops into your

[46:59] head

[47:00] is actually true

[47:04] where am I going with this

[47:08] there's something else that's inside

[47:10] your head

[47:12] and the guru has given a very unique

[47:14] word and that word is

[47:19] the best translation

[47:22] the best way to translate the word

[47:24] and Mer is me me

[47:27] possibly the most accurate English word

[47:30] of Homme is myself

[47:34] the me me this bit

[47:37] myself

[47:39] not ego not Pride

[47:42] but me

[47:46] and that me is something that's

[47:49] happening inside you

[47:51] all of you have this feeling of me I

[47:54] amnest

[47:56] and this iamness occurs inside every

[47:59] single human boy a human mind

[48:04] and this iamness is the way in which you

[48:07] look at the world

[48:09] so we all look at the world through this

[48:12] lens and the lenses I am

[48:16] so I look at stuff and I say is this

[48:19] good for the me or is this bad for the

[48:21] me and that's how I deal with everything

[48:23] and every person that I come into

[48:25] contact with I look at a piece of food

[48:27] is this good for me or is this bad for

[48:28] me

[48:29] is this safe or is this unsafe is this

[48:32] person going to be good to me or is this

[48:34] person going to be bad to me

[48:36] so we look at the whole world through

[48:38] the lens of I am that's how we decide

[48:42] how to deal with the world through this

[48:44] I amness is it going to be good for me

[48:46] or is it not going to be good for me

[48:49] is it going to work

[48:51] or is it going to harm me

[48:58] so the me is the central character of

[49:02] your life story

[49:03] agree with that your life story revolves

[49:06] around something called me the me the I

[49:09] am

[49:10] my question is what is that

[49:13] and this I am

[49:16] is the cause of a lot of problems

[49:23] what it does is it creates a separation

[49:28] I am

[49:30] me means I am not you

[49:34] I'm not you I'm me

[49:37] I'm not there I'm here

[49:40] does that make sense

[49:42] the I am is this guy not that guy

[49:48] so the separation

[49:51] is caused by the I am

[49:54] think about the question we had before

[49:55] the last break

[49:57] I felt the Oneness but I don't know how

[49:59] to stay in the Oneness

[50:01] something is stopping me from staying in

[50:04] the feeling of Oneness all the time

[50:05] gurbani tells you

[50:08] that this feeling of I amness is your

[50:10] problem

[50:13] and the feeling of I amness

[50:15] causes some other emotions some other

[50:18] thoughts

[50:19] so the I am says

[50:22] I want

[50:24] I like

[50:26] I don't like

[50:28] I love

[50:30] I hate

[50:33] that's mine that's not mine

[50:38] and the guru has identified all of these

[50:42] we can call these five defects

[50:46] we can call them five

[50:49] states of mind

[50:51] but these are naturally occurring so

[50:54] we're not trying to demonize them

[50:56] they are naturally occurring and the

[50:59] guru calls them

[51:03] I want

[51:05] this is mine I need

[51:09] I'm important

[51:12] this belongs to me

[51:14] I am better than you

[51:16] all of those statements are I am

[51:18] statements but they come from an I am

[51:21] first and what we've done with

[51:24] spirituality is we've started teaching

[51:26] people how to deal with these symptoms

[51:28] and not to deal with the root cause of

[51:30] the problem so we go on a spirituality

[51:32] Retreat inside I gotta deal with my

[51:34] anger issues

[51:37] because I get a bit angry all the time

[51:41] yeah

[51:43] and everyone says oh sure I can help you

[51:45] deal with your uh your anger do this

[51:47] mudra do this do that take this drink

[51:49] this tea for 40 days do all these things

[51:52] right

[51:54] this is why I said to you who do you

[51:57] trust goes to the root of the problem

[52:00] and who is dealing with the symptoms the

[52:02] guru is dealing with the root of the

[52:04] problem the root of the problem is there

[52:07] is an I am who is getting angry

[52:11] if you get rid of the anger you haven't

[52:14] got rid of the I am tomorrow the uh the

[52:16] anger can come back because the I am is

[52:18] still there

[52:21] yes

[52:26] right close your eyes

[52:29] sit up straight

[52:38] start by listening to your breathing

[52:44] and I want you

[52:46] to just become aware of your thoughts

[52:50] just become aware of which thoughts

[52:52] enter your mind

[52:58] try not to get carried away by one

[53:02] particular thought

[53:04] just become aware which thoughts enter

[53:06] your mind

[53:16] see the images being formed in your mind

[53:21] see the words

[53:23] see the pictures that are coming into

[53:25] your mind whatever you're thinking about

[53:28] good now bring your awareness back to

[53:30] your breathing

[53:36] and when you're ready open your eyes

[53:43] now this is the fun bit

[53:45] what did you think about

[53:48] anyone like to share with me what you

[53:50] thought about keep it clean

[53:54] so I thought I haven't got any thoughts

[53:56] okay

[53:59] so you had a thought saying I don't have

[54:02] any thoughts

[54:03] and then you realize oh that's a thought

[54:05] excellent I like that I like that thank

[54:08] you what did you think about one here

[54:18] okay God of a bird

[54:22] [Music]

[54:36] excellent excellent

[54:39] yes what did you think about it so

[54:41] initially there were no thoughts and

[54:43] then um as you were speaking those

[54:45] manifested into

[54:47] my um

[54:51] I imagined myself okay

[54:57] um because I see the sky

[54:59] even though I wasn't looking at the size

[55:01] of water

[55:02] wasn't going to realize

[55:05] reflection on the sky excellent okay

[55:10] what else did you guys think about let

[55:12] me ask you some questions how many of

[55:13] you thought about family members hands

[55:16] up

[55:17] keep your hands up how many of you

[55:18] thought about family members

[55:20] how many of you thought about

[55:23] some responsibility that needs to be

[55:25] done some work or some action that needs

[55:28] to happen soon

[55:29] how many of you thought about food

[55:32] good it's usually the guys yeah it's

[55:35] close to lunchtime

[55:38] okay

[55:40] you thought about your code okay now let

[55:42] me ask you a very important question

[55:45] how many of you chose to think about

[55:49] those things

[55:52] how many of you made an active Choice

[55:54] I'm going to sit here I'm going to think

[55:56] about my family member I'm going to

[55:58] think about work I'm going to picture a

[56:00] meadow I'm going to picture nature I'm

[56:03] going to think about food

[56:05] or how many of you can say that a

[56:08] thought just popped into my head

[56:11] yes

[56:13] realistically thought just popped into

[56:15] my head now answer this question

[56:18] are you the creator of that thought

[56:23] or did the thought happen to you are you

[56:26] the creator of the thought

[56:28] or are you the receiver of that thought

[56:36] these are your thoughts here our thought

[56:38] my thoughts my opinions

[56:41] do you create them

[56:48] are you the owner of that thought can

[56:50] you take ownership of that thought

[56:58] then my question is what on Earth is

[57:00] going on inside your head

[57:04] I tell you what's going on it happens to

[57:06] all of us the way I like to talk about

[57:08] it is like a firework display

[57:11] stuff is just happening

[57:14] It's Just Happening one after the other

[57:16] you don't know what size what color what

[57:18] thing is going to come up next your

[57:20] brain is just somehow making or

[57:23] receiving

[57:25] Randomness absolute Randomness all the

[57:28] times and somewhere inside all of those

[57:30] thoughts is another thought that says

[57:33] yep mine mine Yes mine I agree with that

[57:37] one yep that's mine yep yep oh that

[57:39] one's mine is I haven't thought about

[57:40] that for a while yep mine

[57:43] you are taking ownership of stuff that

[57:47] is nothing to do with you you are not

[57:50] choosing any of this stuff but you're

[57:52] taking ownership of it

[57:54] let me give you another example

[57:56] how many of you have stood on a train

[57:59] station

[58:01] and there are other passengers there and

[58:03] you've had this thought

[58:05] I wonder if that person falls down what

[58:07] it'd be like

[58:10] be honest how many of you have thought

[58:12] about

[58:13] what if I push that person

[58:16] right

[58:19] there's it right am I the only one

[58:26] yeah you're also looking around to make

[58:27] sure because you had the thought you're

[58:30] like I hope nobody else is gonna

[58:31] nobody's I'm not gonna push me

[58:33] right

[58:35] I've had that thought

[58:38] my question is did I choose to have that

[58:41] thought or did it just pop into my head

[58:44] I can't take ownership of that thought

[58:46] can I

[58:47] I can take a responsibility and say

[58:49] right I'm not going to do it I'm not

[58:51] going to listen to that right most of

[58:53] the time we choose

[58:55] yeah

[58:56] but maybe we don't choose

[58:58] maybe there's another part of us that

[59:00] says yeah I don't think you should do

[59:02] that and that's just another thought

[59:05] at which point is there a decision maker

[59:07] about the thought

[59:13] let's try a second experiment

[59:15] okay set up straight

[59:17] close your eyes

[59:24] now I want you

[59:26] to

[59:27] imagine yourself

[59:30] lying on a beach

[59:58] now I want you to imagine yourself

[1:00:01] walking through a beautiful garden

[1:00:10] now I want you to think about yourself

[1:00:13] in a supermarket pushing a shopping

[1:00:16] trolley loading the baskets

[1:00:23] now I want you to remember

[1:00:26] a

[1:00:28] positive memory of a birthday party your

[1:00:32] birthday

[1:00:33] celebrating with family or friends

[1:00:46] now I want you to gently open your eyes

[1:00:49] and look around the room as though

[1:00:51] you're having a dream and just

[1:00:52] everything that you're looking around

[1:00:54] just look around from left to right

[1:00:57] see it as though you're observing this

[1:00:59] room as a dream

[1:01:06] okay bring yourself back into the room

[1:01:10] foreign

[1:01:13] what is in all of those memories or

[1:01:17] thoughts or imaginations what is the one

[1:01:21] consistent experience throughout all of

[1:01:23] them

[1:01:25] there's a guy

[1:01:27] in the back watching

[1:01:30] yeah okay so there is this sense of

[1:01:33] iamness

[1:01:35] yes

[1:01:36] they're all happening in your head yep

[1:01:41] yep you you there's there's a central

[1:01:43] character there's you

[1:01:45] there's someone watching all of those

[1:01:47] memories

[1:01:48] yeah

[1:01:51] now the interesting question is

[1:01:55] that you now start to realize

[1:01:58] that there are thoughts there are

[1:02:01] memories there are imaginations there

[1:02:03] are pictures in your head and then

[1:02:05] there's someone watching those pictures

[1:02:08] there's someone having those thoughts

[1:02:10] there's someone who is separate from the

[1:02:14] thought

[1:02:16] a recent study has shown that over 75

[1:02:20] percent of six say that their life feels

[1:02:22] stressful or overwhelming these feelings

[1:02:25] can develop into depression alcohol

[1:02:28] abuse or even suicide we believe that

[1:02:32] Guru nanak's wisdom can help transform

[1:02:35] people's lives nanak Nam relies on your

[1:02:38] donation to help create more videos and

[1:02:40] podcasts like this to educate people all

[1:02:43] over the world on how to use Guru

[1:02:45] nanak's teachings to improve their

[1:02:47] emotional mental and spiritual

[1:02:49] well-being set up a monthly donation

[1:02:52] today and help change someone's life

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[1:03:01] so

[1:03:02] we start to realize that there's

[1:03:04] something inside of us that's alive

[1:03:08] there's something inside of us that's

[1:03:10] awake

[1:03:12] my question is what is that that is

[1:03:15] inside of you that is awake

[1:03:19] let me ask you a simpler question

[1:03:23] what's the difference between you and a

[1:03:25] dead person sounds like a punch line but

[1:03:28] it isn't

[1:03:28] what's the difference between you and

[1:03:31] someone who's dead

[1:03:34] you're breathing what else

[1:03:37] conscious you're aware

[1:03:40] I simplify it a bit more because I'm not

[1:03:42] a medic

[1:03:44] I simplify it in a way that says if

[1:03:47] there's a dead body here and an alive

[1:03:49] body here what is the difference between

[1:03:51] the two the dead body seems to be

[1:03:53] switched off

[1:03:56] and the alive person seems to be

[1:03:58] switched on like the same body the same

[1:04:01] Eyes Ears Nose heart lungs they're all

[1:04:04] there

[1:04:05] but between me and him

[1:04:08] something seems to be switched off in

[1:04:10] them and something is switched on inside

[1:04:11] you what is switched on inside you

[1:04:14] what is it

[1:04:19] what do you have

[1:04:22] something isn't it it's some sort of

[1:04:24] energy

[1:04:26] soul

[1:04:27] aliveness

[1:04:29] you have some aliveness inside you

[1:04:32] there's something going on inside you

[1:04:33] isn't there

[1:04:35] I give a really example a simple example

[1:04:37] that I use with my kids

[1:04:39] I say to my kids

[1:04:41] if you take a remote control toy

[1:04:45] or any electronic toy if I take the

[1:04:48] batteries out would you expect it to

[1:04:49] work they say no of course it can't work

[1:04:52] and you put the batteries in and it

[1:04:54] seems to work and it seems to move and

[1:04:56] do stuff on its own

[1:04:58] yeah I said what is making you alive

[1:05:01] what is the battery inside you what's

[1:05:03] keeping you alive what is it that when

[1:05:05] you die gets taken out nothing gets

[1:05:08] taken out from you there were even

[1:05:11] experiments that were that were done by

[1:05:13] scientists where they tried to Define

[1:05:15] does the soul have any weight like when

[1:05:17] a dead person dies does anything

[1:05:19] actually leave

[1:05:22] but most of us

[1:05:24] will say that from a dead tour alive

[1:05:26] State nothing actually changes but

[1:05:28] something very clearly does change

[1:05:30] something switches off what is that what

[1:05:33] do you have inside you right now

[1:05:36] that you don't even know about

[1:05:38] something is happening inside you and we

[1:05:40] don't know what it is

[1:05:46] what are you left with

[1:05:48] let me ask you another question

[1:05:52] if I take your arm off are you still you

[1:05:57] you'll be very angry with me but you're

[1:05:58] still you

[1:06:00] if I take the other arm off are you

[1:06:02] still you

[1:06:03] if I take one leg the other leg

[1:06:08] if you're still alive you're still there

[1:06:10] you're still you if we now go and take

[1:06:15] everything away from you

[1:06:17] what do you get left with

[1:06:21] It's Tricky isn't it what are you left

[1:06:23] with

[1:06:24] you might conclude

[1:06:26] there's a me I don't know what it is but

[1:06:28] there's a me inside me I'm here

[1:06:31] and then I'll ask you where is that me

[1:06:35] where are you inside your body

[1:06:38] are you in your hand

[1:06:41] are you in your chest

[1:06:44] are you in your mind

[1:06:46] where are you

[1:06:49] most of us are experiencing life from

[1:06:52] around here somewhere we're not seeing

[1:06:54] the world through our knees or through

[1:06:55] our elbows we're experiencing the world

[1:06:58] our Consciousness is somewhere around

[1:06:59] here the brain or whatever you want to

[1:07:01] call it

[1:07:02] now what the most interesting thing is

[1:07:04] even today neuroscientists can't figure

[1:07:07] out what Consciousness is

[1:07:09] they just don't know

[1:07:11] neuroscientists are debating

[1:07:14] does the brain create Consciousness or

[1:07:17] does the brain receive consciousness

[1:07:28] trying to give me an answer

[1:07:31] neuroscientists can't figure it out

[1:07:33] are you alive

[1:07:35] well if you're alive what is alive

[1:07:37] they don't know

[1:07:39] so we we are part of something that we

[1:07:42] don't know what's going on and if you

[1:07:44] don't know what makes you alive

[1:07:47] what on Earth do you know about yourself

[1:07:50] very little

[1:07:55] all you can say is I exist I'm here and

[1:07:59] that one single thing is what the guru

[1:08:03] calls

[1:08:04] I am

[1:08:07] we all know that we have it but we can't

[1:08:09] describe it

[1:08:11] but there is an I am that's here

[1:08:14] and the guru says the I am is the

[1:08:17] biggest problem that we all have

[1:08:20] naturally

[1:08:21] and that is the biggest barrier

[1:08:26] but if I start asking you well what are

[1:08:28] you you can say well I'm not my name I'm

[1:08:31] not my body

[1:08:33] I'm not my occupation I'm not my head or

[1:08:36] my legs

[1:08:38] I was going to say oh my tail well not

[1:08:40] any of those things I'm not my job I'm

[1:08:44] certainly not my family

[1:08:46] I might have children I might have

[1:08:49] parents I might have brothers and

[1:08:50] sisters a husband and wife but I don't

[1:08:54] become that

[1:08:56] is they're just things that I have

[1:09:03] it feels a bit like this

[1:09:05] like there is a something inside me and

[1:09:07] then there's a whole bunch of stuff

[1:09:08] that's outside me but there is a me

[1:09:10] that's at the center of all of this

[1:09:12] stuff my question to you is well what is

[1:09:14] that me

[1:09:15] who am I

[1:09:22] now you may not be able to answer this

[1:09:25] question about who you are

[1:09:27] but the gurus and the spiritual Masters

[1:09:29] have come with a solution they said you

[1:09:32] know this I am

[1:09:34] there's a way of living without it

[1:09:38] and most of us have never even

[1:09:40] considered that as an option

[1:09:44] we've never considered that there's a

[1:09:46] way to live without this driver inside

[1:09:48] the car this feeling that I am the one

[1:09:51] that feels like he owns the body the one

[1:09:53] that feels like he owns the thoughts

[1:09:56] there's a way to switch that off

[1:10:02] and why would you want to do that

[1:10:04] because that I am is causing every

[1:10:09] single problem in your life every

[1:10:11] sadness every bit of suffering every

[1:10:14] pain every hurt every hard memory

[1:10:17] every difficult experience is happening

[1:10:20] to that I am

[1:10:22] and we can deal with it

[1:10:26] let's see what the guru says the guru

[1:10:29] says

[1:10:30] foreign

[1:10:38] of suffering you plow in suffering and

[1:10:42] of course

[1:10:43] suffering grows

[1:10:48] you are born into suffering and you seem

[1:10:51] to live your whole life in suffering and

[1:10:53] then you die suffering

[1:10:57] and this I am is what you live with your

[1:11:00] whole life the guru saying I live with

[1:11:02] this I am the whole life

[1:11:07] look what the guru says

[1:11:11] it is a massive disease that you have

[1:11:14] inside you we all have it but you know

[1:11:17] what it doesn't feel like a disease

[1:11:19] does it feels like me

[1:11:22] me I am I I like myself I'm okay with

[1:11:25] myself I don't want to get rid of myself

[1:11:27] what are you talking about

[1:11:29] the guru's saying I don't want you to

[1:11:30] get rid of yourself

[1:11:33] but you want to get rid of all your

[1:11:34] suffering in your life don't you

[1:11:37] well the suffering isn't the problem the

[1:11:40] one having the suffering is the problem

[1:11:42] let's look at that the guru says

[1:11:49] because of this I am you create a

[1:11:52] separation and you do everything in this

[1:11:55] separation everything is happening me

[1:11:56] against you me versus you do I like you

[1:11:58] do I not like you this is how you

[1:12:00] function

[1:12:01] most people don't understand that the

[1:12:03] guru actually talks about this stuff

[1:12:04] it's talking about you and how you

[1:12:06] function in the world

[1:12:13] so there is a me

[1:12:16] and I can't describe it

[1:12:19] the me isn't the one

[1:12:24] who is having the suffering

[1:12:26] the me is just experiencing suffering

[1:12:31] and over time we can start seeing that

[1:12:33] there is a barrier between me and it

[1:12:37] you think that you're the driver of your

[1:12:39] body you think that you're the driver of

[1:12:42] your life

[1:12:43] but when we start asking who is that

[1:12:45] driver we start getting confused I don't

[1:12:48] know I don't know who that driver is

[1:12:51] life just seems to be happening

[1:12:55] in reality I'm not doing very much

[1:13:00] let me give you a simple example

[1:13:03] you stand in front of a choice

[1:13:08] the choice is tea or coffee

[1:13:11] who makes that decision

[1:13:15] what is the process by which that

[1:13:17] decision gets made

[1:13:18] you're looking at tea and coffee I'll

[1:13:21] tell you what happens an answer pings in

[1:13:23] your head and it says coffee and you go

[1:13:26] and get the coffee

[1:13:29] did you choose the coffee

[1:13:33] or did coffee come as the answer

[1:13:36] it just comes

[1:13:38] coffee I'm gonna pick coffee

[1:13:40] there is no decision maker inside you

[1:13:42] there's just stuff happening goes back

[1:13:45] to the fireworks example

[1:13:47] and the more that you search and look

[1:13:50] for yourself you realize you can't find

[1:13:53] yourself

[1:13:55] you cannot find the I am inside you and

[1:13:58] this is what all the spiritual teachings

[1:14:00] have tried to do the I am that you have

[1:14:02] inside you is not

[1:14:04] actually real

[1:14:08] what is real

[1:14:10] that stuff seems to just be happening

[1:14:13] there's an aliveness inside me

[1:14:17] it seems to be there and it seems to be

[1:14:19] happening without my control

[1:14:22] when you realize that there is no you

[1:14:25] you start to realize that life seems to

[1:14:28] be happening

[1:14:30] without a you inside there's no real

[1:14:33] hatred inside you hatred is an idea but

[1:14:36] there is a you that's separate from

[1:14:37] hatred

[1:14:39] love is an idea but there is a you

[1:14:41] that's separate from it

[1:14:44] time is an idea that's you're separate

[1:14:47] from it your body you are separate from

[1:14:49] it

[1:14:51] so what is this thing that's inside you

[1:14:55] the guru says it's this

[1:14:58] who knows what that is

[1:15:00] most of you the mool mantra

[1:15:03] most of us have looked at the mul mantar

[1:15:06] as a description of God

[1:15:09] but maybe the moon Mantra is a

[1:15:11] description of you

[1:15:12] there is something that's just on inside

[1:15:15] you ich there's a Oneness that's just

[1:15:17] alive inside you

[1:15:20] it's on God it's happening

[1:15:22] satnam it exists

[1:15:24] it does everything

[1:15:27] I'm not doing anything which me is doing

[1:15:29] something

[1:15:30] it doesn't actually have any fear it

[1:15:33] doesn't actually have any hate

[1:15:36] the aliveness inside you does it hate

[1:15:38] anyone

[1:15:39] or is hatred a thought that your

[1:15:41] aliveness can see

[1:15:45] starting to get a bit confusing a bit

[1:15:46] deeper

[1:15:47] bit too deep before lunch

[1:15:51] what does this all mean let's bring it

[1:15:53] all right back what does it all mean

[1:15:56] it means that there is a Oneness inside

[1:16:00] you but you don't know how to access it

[1:16:03] there is something inside you that you

[1:16:05] don't know about

[1:16:07] and this is what a spiritual journey is

[1:16:09] all about

[1:16:10] there is a separation inside you that

[1:16:12] you don't know why it exists

[1:16:15] why don't I feel like the Oneness

[1:16:17] why don't I feel it

[1:16:19] we don't know we don't understand our

[1:16:21] own selves

[1:16:28] and this is the spiritual journey that

[1:16:31] you can find this stuff

[1:16:34] and this is when you start to discover

[1:16:37] that you are not separate from the ocean

[1:16:41] you are part of the ocean remember that

[1:16:44] analogy

[1:16:48] I'm Gonna Leave You

[1:16:52] with a very simple understanding most of

[1:16:55] life has happened to you

[1:16:58] and you're not happy with it and then

[1:17:00] you go on a spiritual journey you go on

[1:17:02] a spiritual journey and you're saying

[1:17:03] there's a me

[1:17:05] and then there's a God

[1:17:07] and I have to somehow connect with this

[1:17:09] God yeah I have to somehow merge with

[1:17:13] this God so that me and God somehow

[1:17:17] become one entity and I don't know why

[1:17:19] that doesn't happen

[1:17:21] the reason that me and God don't connect

[1:17:24] is because there's something stopping

[1:17:25] you

[1:17:28] and it's right in front of you

[1:17:32] your sense of I am

[1:17:36] is stopping you so you know when you go

[1:17:38] on your spiritual journey and saying I'm

[1:17:39] going to find God

[1:17:41] you know why you'll never find God

[1:17:43] because the I am is looking for God

[1:17:46] the thing that makes you separate from

[1:17:48] everyone else is your barrier that is

[1:17:51] the reason why you will never find God

[1:17:52] because the I am is looking for God and

[1:17:55] I am can never find God

[1:18:01] is this what the guru teaches let's find

[1:18:03] out there's a Shabbat a beautiful shovel

[1:18:08] foreign

[1:18:10] he says

[1:18:14] [Music]

[1:18:15] when I exist you don't exist I can't

[1:18:18] find God

[1:18:22] Now That I Found You I realize I don't

[1:18:25] exist

[1:18:27] the process of a spiritual journey is

[1:18:30] not to find God the process of a

[1:18:33] spiritual journey is to understand the I

[1:18:35] am and to realize that it doesn't exist

[1:18:39] the I am is what gurbani is trying to

[1:18:42] deal with not you trying to find Mr God

[1:18:49] and when you realize that you aren't the

[1:18:52] doer of your own life you'll start to

[1:18:55] talk like the gurus have talked Guru

[1:18:57] nanak Dev ji says

[1:19:02] [Music]

[1:19:04] the one who is speaking the one who is

[1:19:07] listening the one who is thinking is

[1:19:10] this Oneness and when you find and

[1:19:14] search for yourself then you are

[1:19:16] spiritually enlightened

[1:19:18] are one who goes and searches for

[1:19:22] himself is spiritually enlightened

[1:19:25] Guru nanak Dev ji Tata

[1:19:34] Guru nanak says there is an essence of

[1:19:37] Divine Light in the whole of the

[1:19:39] universe so hung that's who I am

[1:19:42] I am the Divine Essence of the whole

[1:19:44] universe this is how Guru nanak talks

[1:19:47] about himself he says I am that

[1:19:50] not I am nanak or I am this body or I am

[1:19:53] me he says I am the very essence of the

[1:19:55] whole universe

[1:19:58] there is no difference between me and

[1:20:00] the essence of the universe

[1:20:03] you are God

[1:20:07] the question is when will you realize

[1:20:15] so the question was just about how do we

[1:20:17] find

[1:20:19] um a way to move on to the next level

[1:20:21] how do we take an understanding and then

[1:20:24] make it something that we're actually

[1:20:25] experiencing and it's very similar to

[1:20:27] the the question that we had before that

[1:20:29] you may have had glimpses of of an

[1:20:31] understanding or an experience but there

[1:20:33] isn't necessarily that's that sustained

[1:20:36] experience of it and this is where

[1:20:40] this is where the requirement this is

[1:20:43] where it needs you to have a practice

[1:20:46] that takes the wisdom from a

[1:20:52] this is where you need to have a

[1:20:54] practice where it takes the wisdom from

[1:20:57] an intellectual into an experiential

[1:21:00] you need to find a way where no longer

[1:21:04] is Oneness a concept in your head but

[1:21:07] it's a feeling that you feel

[1:21:10] and when you feel something

[1:21:13] when you've known an experience of

[1:21:16] something then it doesn't require

[1:21:18] somebody else's description

[1:21:21] so

[1:21:22] it's like you hearing a

[1:21:28] talk on

[1:21:30] the experience of love

[1:21:33] and then you say well how do I feel that

[1:21:36] love how do I get to that point where

[1:21:38] I'm experiencing that love

[1:21:41] well there's two ways to to answer that

[1:21:44] one is

[1:21:45] that you don't decide

[1:21:47] it's actually when your time is right

[1:21:50] when you fall in love you fall in love

[1:21:53] when you find love when you

[1:21:56] find someone to love all of that stuff

[1:22:00] just seems to happen nobody decides that

[1:22:02] they're going to fall in love and in the

[1:22:04] same way you can't decide that you're

[1:22:06] going to experience this Oneness you can

[1:22:09] try and understand it but you can't

[1:22:10] decide that you're going to feel it but

[1:22:12] then on the other hand

[1:22:15] this isn't something about

[1:22:17] an external thing this is about yourself

[1:22:21] so you can then start to look within

[1:22:24] yourself and say what about me can I

[1:22:28] connect with the Oneness

[1:22:30] rather than how do I feel a Oneness as

[1:22:32] though a Oneness is something external

[1:22:34] to you what part of the Oneness do I

[1:22:37] have

[1:22:38] how do I feel when I look at a rainbow

[1:22:41] how do I feel when I see the sunrise how

[1:22:45] do I react when it's raining

[1:22:48] can I create a level of acceptance

[1:22:52] tolerance peace within me that means

[1:22:56] that I'm not waiting for something else

[1:22:58] so it comes down to a practice you can't

[1:23:02] just wait for these things to happen you

[1:23:05] can actually have a spiritual practice

[1:23:07] this is why Theory only goes so far this

[1:23:11] is why we combine meditation with the

[1:23:15] wisdom

[1:23:16] so meditation is probably the quickest

[1:23:20] way for you to start to experience some

[1:23:22] of these things and anyone

[1:23:24] whose experienced these things either in

[1:23:27] meditation or in kirtan or in sitting in

[1:23:32] a Darbar and just listening to the

[1:23:35] guru's words in Hokum nama

[1:23:38] there's no limit to how you can

[1:23:40] experience these things but there is a

[1:23:43] decision that you can make that actually

[1:23:44] prioritizes it in your life and I think

[1:23:46] that's that's probably the first thing

[1:23:48] you need to do is to actually make this

[1:23:50] a priority in your life

[1:23:51] and when you start to make things a

[1:23:53] priority in your life your life is just

[1:23:55] going to start navigating slowly and

[1:23:57] slowly in that sort of Direction so

[1:24:01] one

[1:24:02] it's Grace if it happens

[1:24:05] two there are things that you can do and

[1:24:07] meditation is my

[1:24:11] closest experience that I've had is is

[1:24:13] in experiences of meditation

[1:24:15] so now you've got to ask yourself what

[1:24:17] am I am I doing that am I and I don't

[1:24:18] mean the very external sort of I just go

[1:24:22] to the Gurdwara and I just say a few

[1:24:23] things or I do a few things no do you

[1:24:26] actually

[1:24:27] find a Stillness within yourself do you

[1:24:29] do you have a practice that makes you

[1:24:31] find a peace within yourself and if the

[1:24:33] answer is no then you've come to the

[1:24:35] right place because we're going to be

[1:24:36] covering that straight after this

[1:24:38] yeah brilliant

[1:24:41] um anymore

[1:24:48] we're going to cover tomorrow a lot to

[1:24:50] do with how do you practically apply

[1:24:52] this

[1:24:53] um which is in the third lecture that

[1:24:56] we've called overcoming obstacles but I

[1:25:00] I would go back to the same answer that

[1:25:02] I gave to the last question this is not

[1:25:04] something you apply

[1:25:06] this is not a idea that you conceptually

[1:25:10] have to remind yourself oh yeah I must

[1:25:12] look at this from a Oneness perspective

[1:25:13] this is not that you have to have

[1:25:17] started to

[1:25:19] Lose Yourself

[1:25:21] and let me let me I mean I go back to

[1:25:23] the love example because I think love is

[1:25:25] the closest experience that you will

[1:25:27] have to what the gurus are talking about

[1:25:30] and I'll I'll give you I'll give you an

[1:25:32] example when I

[1:25:34] um and anyone who's watched the um the

[1:25:36] life talk episode that I did recently

[1:25:38] with my wife uh on YouTube I I touched

[1:25:40] upon this this idea when when

[1:25:44] when I first

[1:25:45] um started going out with her and and we

[1:25:48] were in that sort of very early

[1:25:49] honeymoon period of kind of falling in

[1:25:51] love and and really starting to

[1:25:55] um

[1:25:56] spend all of our time thinking about

[1:25:58] each other the whole process of

[1:25:59] initially falling in love I remember one

[1:26:02] morning waking up

[1:26:04] and I was just sitting in my room and

[1:26:06] this is before we were married I was not

[1:26:07] even in

[1:26:09] um we weren't living together or

[1:26:10] anything like that I was in my parents

[1:26:12] house I woke up and sat in my bed one

[1:26:14] morning and I physically couldn't see

[1:26:17] the distinction between me and her in my

[1:26:20] own feeling I couldn't I was like I

[1:26:22] could feel that her and me were

[1:26:25] occupying this body

[1:26:27] and that scared me a little bit it

[1:26:30] worried me I'm like what on Earth is

[1:26:31] going on I'm not talking to her I can't

[1:26:33] see her she's not in front of me but I

[1:26:35] could feel

[1:26:37] second person

[1:26:39] was occupying this space that I called

[1:26:42] just me before this was just me and I

[1:26:45] genuinely for the first time started to

[1:26:47] experience what it felt like to Lose

[1:26:50] Yourself

[1:26:51] to lose who you actually are the very

[1:26:54] feeling of what it feels like to be me I

[1:26:57] actually started to feel like I don't

[1:26:58] feel like a me anymore I feel like

[1:27:00] something different I feel like the me

[1:27:03] before I was with this person was an

[1:27:05] individual now I feel like I'm a I'm a

[1:27:08] half of of a partnership

[1:27:10] now

[1:27:12] you have to have experienced something

[1:27:15] like that in order to now know what love

[1:27:18] is you can't logically explain these

[1:27:21] things you can't apply these things but

[1:27:23] now when you know love I Can Feel Love

[1:27:26] towards other people because I know what

[1:27:29] the radiance of Love is inside me I Can

[1:27:32] Feel Love towards strangers not that I

[1:27:35] do it all the time but there are times

[1:27:36] where I can

[1:27:38] feel it I can be in a state where I can

[1:27:42] look at strangers look at children look

[1:27:44] at adults look at terrorists look at the

[1:27:46] worst people in the world and there's a

[1:27:48] Love Inside Me

[1:27:50] do you see that that's not applying

[1:27:52] anything I'm not trying to apply I'm not

[1:27:55] reminding myself no you've got to love

[1:27:57] everyone

[1:27:58] it's it's something that spontaneously

[1:28:01] starts to happen and so these are the

[1:28:03] kinds of experiences that are available

[1:28:04] to you

[1:28:06] through a meditative practice and and I

[1:28:08] and I and I openly say if there's one

[1:28:11] experience I want every single human

[1:28:13] being to experience is falling in love

[1:28:15] you genuinely cannot come close to any

[1:28:19] other nothing else comes close to

[1:28:20] Falling in Love

[1:28:22] and when you start to fall in love there

[1:28:25] isn't this idea that I have to apply

[1:28:27] this knowledge and so this is why it's

[1:28:29] very important that we don't take

[1:28:31] everything that we're covering today as

[1:28:33] just being a

[1:28:35] a concept yep I get it I went I heard

[1:28:38] this those talks I get it like but I

[1:28:40] don't get it I don't feel it so I don't

[1:28:42] want you to feel disheartened being like

[1:28:44] well this guy is talking about these

[1:28:45] very kind of wide Concepts but I'm not

[1:28:48] there at least you're being introduced

[1:28:51] to these Concepts

[1:28:52] you know there are seven billion people

[1:28:55] on this planet and the the biggest

[1:28:58] tragedy of this planet is then or

[1:28:59] introduced to what Guru nanak had to

[1:29:01] teach them

[1:29:02] and you are

[1:29:04] so at least you have the opportunity now

[1:29:07] to say right I can see that there's a

[1:29:09] direction that I need to go in there's a

[1:29:11] direction that I need to head towards

[1:29:13] and maybe I can start working towards

[1:29:15] that tomorrow we're covering two

[1:29:17] sessions one is how do we overcome

[1:29:19] obstacles how do we deal with

[1:29:20] difficulties but then the final session

[1:29:22] is how do we develop spiritually so we

[1:29:25] are going to be covering all of these

[1:29:26] kind of things how do I actually

[1:29:27] practically get to the next level so

[1:29:30] we're going to be covering all of those

[1:29:32] things I'm really looking forward to

[1:29:33] some of those don't go ahead and look at

[1:29:34] the slide they'll give all their answers

[1:29:35] away

[1:29:37] yes

[1:29:43] when we think about the concept of

[1:29:45] Oneness is in relation to good and bad

[1:29:47] yes how it relates is it something

[1:29:49] that's from the Mind side that we bring

[1:29:51] to the world or is it something that's

[1:29:53] inherently Oneness how do you think

[1:29:55] about that with the great people that

[1:29:56] are elaborate them

[1:30:01] you see if we look at the Oneness

[1:30:03] concept

[1:30:04] the very nature of the number one is

[1:30:06] that it's not two

[1:30:09] and the Very nature of one means that

[1:30:13] there are no opposites

[1:30:15] and good and bad

[1:30:17] is the epitome of opposites

[1:30:20] it is the epitome of dividing things

[1:30:25] splitting them up

[1:30:27] and

[1:30:28] I've now stopped using the words good

[1:30:31] and bad in my life

[1:30:34] and I now prefer to see things as

[1:30:38] things that are preferential and things

[1:30:40] that are not preferential to me as an

[1:30:42] individual because when we talk about

[1:30:45] things that are good and bad we State

[1:30:48] them like they're Universal truths

[1:30:50] so somebody

[1:30:53] kills a innocent child we say it as bad

[1:30:57] like that's a that's a universal truth

[1:30:59] there is no way that that's good there's

[1:31:01] nothing good about it it's only bad it's

[1:31:03] unanimously agree that that's bad

[1:31:05] but when we talk about things as good

[1:31:07] and bad in that way what we do is we

[1:31:10] create a very easy scapegoat that guy is

[1:31:13] bad

[1:31:14] and in doing so what we do is we also

[1:31:17] make ourselves slightly feel better

[1:31:19] what we're saying is if I can label you

[1:31:21] as bad I can label me as good because

[1:31:24] I'm not doing what you're doing

[1:31:27] and so you by labeling someone bad

[1:31:31] you create a duality

[1:31:33] you create a distance between me and

[1:31:36] them

[1:31:37] and what we need to start doing is

[1:31:40] starting to understand how did this

[1:31:42] happen why did it happen

[1:31:44] what is it that led that person to do

[1:31:46] that horrible Act

[1:31:49] because they weren't doing things to be

[1:31:52] the bad guy

[1:31:54] nobody does anything to be the bad guy

[1:31:57] people do things because they feel that

[1:31:59] they're entitled to do it that's the

[1:32:01] right thing for them to do

[1:32:03] now that doesn't excuse the horrible

[1:32:05] things that happen in life that doesn't

[1:32:07] mean that we sit back and we just let

[1:32:09] whatever happens happens

[1:32:11] but when we start to create goods and

[1:32:14] bads ups and downs what we're doing is

[1:32:17] we're creating a split personality

[1:32:19] within ourselves

[1:32:21] I'm only going to do the good things and

[1:32:24] by doing that you're negating a section

[1:32:26] of your own self which is which is that

[1:32:28] you have the capacity to do bad things

[1:32:30] as well we all have the capacity to do

[1:32:32] bad things

[1:32:34] we may choose not to do them

[1:32:36] but we are creating a devil within us

[1:32:40] we're creating

[1:32:42] a feeling that there's negativity in us

[1:32:45] and there's positivity and that's why

[1:32:47] this this sort of terminology is very

[1:32:49] destructive it doesn't help you at all

[1:32:52] and hopefully in tomorrow's session

[1:32:54] we'll go through so many examples where

[1:32:56] you can start to see how do we

[1:32:58] practically apply the good and the bad

[1:33:04] what other questions came up in some of

[1:33:06] the discussions

[1:33:07] I was just grateful

[1:33:10] um we initially spoke about the whole

[1:33:12] idea and

[1:33:13] contrary refreshing to people

[1:33:18] stereotypically we've been trying to

[1:33:20] think a different way ever since we've

[1:33:21] been

[1:33:23] standing for God for that peace

[1:33:28] [Music]

[1:33:32] and so we were just discussing how we

[1:33:35] could Implement that on a daily practice

[1:33:38] which will be coming today and we also

[1:33:41] spoke about the element of how can we

[1:33:43] address somebody who's feeling

[1:33:46] emotionally challenging or tough

[1:33:48] relationships and conveying that concept

[1:33:52] of Oneness

[1:33:54] could be happening with your emotions

[1:33:57] and

[1:33:59] yeah

[1:34:01] so almost the same question every time

[1:34:02] how do I how do I live this how do I

[1:34:05] live in this in this in this Oneness

[1:34:16] when sticky we'll talk to

[1:34:18] um from the person asked question that

[1:34:20] we achieved monthly after you die

[1:34:23] and the whole point is to live the life

[1:34:27] so that we become one and merge when we

[1:34:30] die but what about what you're doing

[1:34:35] this is a question that came up a couple

[1:34:37] of times which is

[1:34:39] well if life is a Oneness

[1:34:42] what is my purpose here or do I do

[1:34:44] surely I'm still trying to be a good

[1:34:47] person surely I still want to find God

[1:34:52] when I die and I merge with God

[1:34:55] unfortunately this is a

[1:35:00] concept that has

[1:35:03] crept into

[1:35:06] a spiritual tradition such as

[1:35:09] the non-dual Traditions such as gurmat

[1:35:14] that there is a reward at the end of

[1:35:16] death

[1:35:18] and

[1:35:20] we've even started to use

[1:35:24] some very Western terminology

[1:35:27] to apply to some very Eastern Concepts

[1:35:30] so we talk about reincarnation and we

[1:35:33] talk about escaping reincarnation almost

[1:35:36] as the same way as we do with

[1:35:40] reincarnation is hell and escaping

[1:35:43] reincarnation is heaven and essentially

[1:35:45] what we're trying to do is trying to get

[1:35:47] away from Heaven away from hell and into

[1:35:50] heaven and

[1:35:52] the gurus

[1:35:54] took away some of that way of thinking

[1:35:57] and what they were trying to get us to

[1:36:00] understand is that there is a way for

[1:36:03] you to be liberated now

[1:36:06] almost all spiritual Traditions are

[1:36:08] trying to get you liberated after death

[1:36:10] and the gurus were saying well why do I

[1:36:13] want to be liberated after death I I

[1:36:15] have a solution now and so they called

[1:36:18] that idea jeevan mukt

[1:36:20] being dead

[1:36:22] and alive at the same time being

[1:36:25] liberated but being involved with the

[1:36:28] world at the same time I am part of this

[1:36:31] world but I'm also free from it

[1:36:34] so freedom is something that we are

[1:36:36] going to experience now

[1:36:38] it isn't a question of being a good

[1:36:41] person so that when you die God

[1:36:45] sees that you've ticked all the right

[1:36:47] boxes

[1:36:48] it's about finding God now

[1:36:53] and I think

[1:36:54] one of the most important lessons is

[1:36:56] that if you don't find God now you're

[1:36:58] not going to find God when you die

[1:37:02] and so that's something that we need to

[1:37:04] start changing the way we think

[1:37:06] that being liberated now from our

[1:37:10] sorrows being liberated now from

[1:37:12] troubles in our life being liberated

[1:37:15] from

[1:37:16] our sense of self-importance

[1:37:20] that's the freedom that you have

[1:37:22] available to you

[1:37:24] through this spiritual path

[1:37:26] you have these opportunities open to you

[1:37:30] you have a way of living life that is

[1:37:32] available to you which

[1:37:35] is about you having a better life now

[1:37:39] not a better life after you die

[1:37:44] in fact if you have a great experience

[1:37:48] of life now one which is free

[1:37:51] then you have freed yourself from even

[1:37:54] the bondage of death

[1:37:56] and the guru talks about time and time

[1:37:58] again that I am free from death death

[1:38:01] cannot touch me

[1:38:03] and if you reach the state where you're

[1:38:05] free from Death then where is the

[1:38:07] question of you becoming free after

[1:38:09] death

[1:38:11] if you're so

[1:38:13] disconnected

[1:38:15] from your mind you're disconnected from

[1:38:17] your body you're disconnected from this

[1:38:20] as being your only identity and you

[1:38:23] identify with the universe

[1:38:27] there is a beautiful phrase which is

[1:38:30] from the upanishads which is very

[1:38:32] ancient scriptures from India and it it

[1:38:35] says

[1:38:37] I am the universe

[1:38:40] I am one with the universe

[1:38:43] and one of the quotes that I used in the

[1:38:45] previous lecture

[1:38:48] by soham

[1:38:50] is a beautiful word I am that

[1:38:54] they say that there is a

[1:38:57] cry that a baby does

[1:39:00] when it's first born

[1:39:03] the baby cries when it's first born and

[1:39:06] the sound is almost like go home go home

[1:39:09] what am I what am I

[1:39:12] and when the universe breathes life into

[1:39:14] it the reply from the universe is soham

[1:39:17] you and me are one you are me

[1:39:20] so the man is Born Into the universe

[1:39:23] with this big question who am I

[1:39:26] but when you understand that you are the

[1:39:28] universe that is your Liberation that is

[1:39:32] your freedom

[1:39:33] and you are now no longer capable of

[1:39:37] dying

[1:39:39] and it doesn't mean that your body

[1:39:41] doesn't die your body will die but you

[1:39:44] won't die because the you are no longer

[1:39:47] tied down to the identity with the body

[1:39:49] you are no longer the body you are no

[1:39:52] longer the mind you are the universe

[1:39:55] and the universe cannot die

[1:39:58] everything physical can die but the

[1:40:01] essence of the universe cannot die so

[1:40:03] that is what it means to be liberated

[1:40:05] that is the mukti that you get now to

[1:40:09] the point at which even when your body

[1:40:11] goes you will not go

[1:40:14] so we have to completely get away from

[1:40:16] this idea that when I die I will be

[1:40:18] liberated

[1:40:19] [Music]

[1:40:27] foreign

[1:40:34] [Music]

AuthorNanak Naam

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why do people keep chasing goals if they don't bring happiness?

People inherit a mental script that associates happiness with the next milestone—education, job, marriage, children. Each goal briefly satisfies but quickly fades, yet the pattern is so deeply installed that we keep repeating it without questioning whether this is actually how fulfillment works.

What is the difference between my thoughts and my awareness?

Thoughts come and go, but something observes them. That observing presence—the 'I am' or witnessing consciousness—is not the thought itself. You are the awareness that can watch your thoughts without being identified with them.

How much of my identity did I actually choose?

Most of it was inherited or installed: your community, nationality, family role, many of your beliefs, even your preferences were given to you by parents, culture, and environment. The teacher's point is to help you recognize which parts of 'you' are genuinely chosen versus adopted.

What does Sikh spirituality mean by 'becoming one with God'?

In Sikh philosophy, you're not separate from the one consciousness now—separation itself is the delusion. The spiritual work is recognizing what's already true, not achieving something you don't have. Practices like meditation dissolve the false sense of separation your conditioned identity maintains.

Am I a physical being having spiritual experiences or a spiritual being having physical ones?

The teaching points to the second: your deepest nature is consciousness or awareness. Your body, thoughts, and identity are temporary expressions of that consciousness, not what you fundamentally are.

Why is meditation combined with philosophy in Sikh teaching?

Philosophy alone can be intellectual understanding. Meditation gives you direct experience of the gap between thought and awareness. Together, they transform understanding from belief into embodied knowing.